I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
