He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
