I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
