So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Randomize