So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
