DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
