even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I cut my penus on the lid.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
