lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
