im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
