There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize