How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
