got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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