Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
