after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
