You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
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