about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
