how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
