So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
be right there i have to get my cape
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
