This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
