are you so shy because you have an std?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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