I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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