3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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