Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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