You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
40s are totally the cure
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Randomize
