I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
