So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
babies were throwing up all over the place
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
