As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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