Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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