No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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