The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I need to align my fucking chakras
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