yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
