It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
