Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm both gender and math confused
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
