Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
