i would punch a child for taco bell
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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