my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize