i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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