'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
did you just send me my own nude
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize