you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
