I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
