HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
