did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
