u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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