im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
