We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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