Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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