I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize