She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
