I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
