Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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