In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
