The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
