i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize