some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
