allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He better not be in your backpack
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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