is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
