my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
No...this little piggys going to the bar
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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