I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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