Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
